Comfort zones for sex

If boredom is setting into your relationship and causing doldrums in your sex life, it's time to shed your inhibitions and get more experimental to enhance sexual pleasure.

While you may have already indulged in different kinds of love-making with your partner, it's important to ensure the right settings to make the most of a night of passion. Be it the bedroom ambiance, surrounding items, lighting, aroma or anything that helps boosting your sexual desire, the decor of the room must be in accordance with your mood and the kind of sex you want to indulge in.

Marriage and relationship counsellor Gitanjali Sharma elucidates, "Sex is a natural need for all human beings. But there has to be appropriate arousal for a night of passion and the environment, ambience and bedroom settings play a major role is stimulating your sexual hormones. Just like we eat when we are hungry, similarly, there has to be a sex drive and a physical desire to make you indulge in sex and it come from various things in the pleasure playground."

Couples indulge in sex for various reasons. Some want to experiment and try out new things in bed, while others love seeing their partner experience heights of pleasure. There are others too who love pampering their partner through diverse forms of sex.

Here are various settings that can enhance your sexual camaraderie.

Create an innovative environment during experimental sex

As the name suggests, an experiment signifies something creative and out-of-box, so it could be a wild sexual stint. Couples opting for experimental sex aim to bring back the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. No matter how long they've been into their relationship, there is a need to have an Earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while.

DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert suggests, "When it's about being experimental, try out just about everything. From the sofa to the floor, living room to the kitchen, bathtub to the garden, let your imagination take over completely. Enacting a p*rn star or a pole dancer act could take your spouse by surprise. Having meals in a semi-clad state will ignite your partner's ero*ic side. Keep sexual props like whips, chains, pompoms and streamers handy to add to the mood."

Pamper your beau during make-up sex

Make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of an ugly argument, so if you had a gut-wrenching fight with your spouse, there can be nothing better than indulging in a sexual reconciliation. While the act gives you several chances to say 'sorry' to your partner, don't forget the right ambiance is e a blessing in disguise. Not only it will make your partner feel pampered, but also let you gradually descend towards a sex romp.

DO IT RIGHT : Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma adds, "Keep a nice musical show piece, preferably a couple doing ball dance, alongside the bed that makes a chiming sound to add to the soothing aroma that you wished to create. Also, a lavish chandelier placed right above your bed can create the right combination of light and shadow. Also, decorate the room with flowers, place some surprise gifts for your partner, use satin bed sheets, heart shaped pillows etc that create a perfect atmosphere that makes your partner forget the fight and enjoy the sexual gratification."

Keep it simple foe necessary sex

Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good about your sexual prowess. A sexual act that most couples perform as a vital part of a long-term relationship can also lead to special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift your sagging spirits.

DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita says, "Just keep the settings simple. Stick to a conventional bedroom setting with a nice bed sheet and some scented candles boosting your sexual desires. A prolonged for*play in or outside the bedroom area can gear you up for a gratifying act in bed. Indulge in a quick session of reading the Kamasutra to master new sex positions or watch a p*rn film together to set the mood for such 'necessary' sexual experiences. Remember, wearing saucy lingerie can also hit the right spot to woo your partner."

Sex on my mind on vacation

When it's about a sexual getaway, forget all domestic anxieties back home, as carrying them along will only decrease your sexual pleasure. Plan to have sex in a romantic locale that allows you to rediscover each another in a new light. Leave your laptop behind, turn the cell phone off and relax to make the sex better.

DO IT RIGHT : Gitanjali explains, "The perfect settings for recreational sex includes first indulging in a candlelit dinner with the right mix of aphrodisiacal food and wine, which you normally do not consume at home. A salsa dance session can further evoke your ero*ic senses, coupled with some sexual images placed appropriately on the walls of your room. Ideally try and opt for a room with a romantic or spectacular view of a lake or a mountain."

Bring vigour back during solace sex

Sex, undeniably, is the best remedy when you are feeling miserable, dejected, anguished or lonely. Sexual acts to relieve your tensions are more emotional, more engaging and possibly more expressive and thus the focus is more on cuddling, rather than on climaxing. Since couples look forward to intensifying their bond, the ambience during solace sex can really make a difference. Forget the regular bed; why not try it out in the bathtub?

DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita agrees, "Use scented warm water, adding rose petals to set the mood, Furthermore, a hot shower together with your partner stimulates the sex hormones and also gives a chance for intimate moments. Lastly, a sensuous massage either with a chocolate spa or aroma oils can help in calming your tensed mind and thus giving you more comforting pleasure."

Keep it private for racy sex (one night stands)

Most couples would deny this, but love takes a backseat and it's the lust that comes to the forefront during a racy one-night stand. The lack of emotional attachment makes it easier for couples to climax.

DO IT RIGHT : There is something wildly ero*ic about the back seat of your car, or a dark stair case when you are in the throes of a quickies. The stimulation from the fear that you may be caught red-handed leads to a lot more of experimentation, including oral stimulation. Get down and dirty, throw back your latent inhibitions and perk up the pleasure.

What women like about 'condoms'

Nowadays, condoms come in a variety of sizes, colours, and even flavours. There are small ones, skinny ones, purple ones, strawberry ones, peppermint ones... you name it, and it probably exists.

Soon, we might find that we already have as many types of condoms as Hallmark have cards. There used to be a time in another era when there was only one kind of condom out in the market, as far as the texture (or nubbing) is concerned. That has changed in monumental fashion. Nowadays, they can be adorned with latex or they can be ribbed. Some of them can just be on the exterior but some are studded both inside and outside. Presumably, this is also to provide the user with added enjoyment.

Exactly how many different kinds of condoms are out there? Are there in fact any significant differences at all? Basically, all condoms would fall under 8 categories in general, based on the primary consideration. These do not include the ones that would be invented tomorrow (knowing the ingenuity of today's generation, they will come up with something).
Material: It is either made from polyurethane or latex.
Size: This involves the width and not the length. However, those available in convenience shops are standard-sized.
Lubrication: Here different substances are used for different brands of condoms. Picking the water-based ones is best like those that are pre-lubricated with spermicidal gel or foam. Petroleum, baby oil or cream used as lubricant is risky. These types have the tendency to weaken condoms, even latex.
Spermicidal: A spermicidal lubricant is sometimes used to lessen the probability of pregnancy. One of the more common is called nonoxynol-9. Some individuals are sensitive to this and in fact, if used a lot of times, may heighten HIV-infection possibility.
Ribbed: There are many people out there, especially young people, who utter in disgust "if AIDS is not so prevalent, I would never use this...I cannot feel a thing." This type is the heaven-sent condom for them. It has ridges making sex more "feel-able" for the couple.
Colour: Available in almost every colour of the rainbow.
Flavour: Obviously this is for those daring individuals who have a propensity for oral s**. Tastes can range from strawberry to chocolate to god knows what else! However, these condoms should not be used for vaginal/anal sex.
Reservoir tip: Most condoms in fact have a reservoir-like end to hold the semen as opposed to the few others which have plain tips. For the reservoir type, make sure that you pinch the tip before dressing it on. This is more or less mandatory because if air gets in, it could easily break when you are busy and that is what you wouldn't like to happen.

Now that we are through enumerating them, let us go to the more important part which is to answer the question "what are the qualities of a good condom?" In terms of material, latex is probably the best; avoid the naturally made ones (lamb membrane for example). Some unenlightened souls claim that a few viruses can go through latex that is absolutely untrue. Those made from natural materials are porous and so there is a probability of virus-transmission.

What do women want in a condom? Some condoms are packaged to look like tampon containers and a few women are attracted to this. Form also counts - to illustrate, French ticklers (condoms having long appendages) have popular appeal as these (just like the ridges) increase pleasure during Inte*cou*se. For this same purpose, some women would insist that their husbands/boyfriends buy the ultra thin type. Of course, not all nationalities are alike. Japanese women in fact, are insistent on using condoms over pills but they are not particular over the kind or form of condom to be used. For as long as she gets assured that it would not break, she probably would not actually care on what specific kind of condom is being used. If you are an American though, a piece of advice: bring your own, the size being manufactured in there might not be to your liking.

And oh, women generally, do not care about the ridges, ribbing or the lubrication. The problem she claims is that condoms are designed by men. She asserts that if women were to be the ones to do this designing, they would just make "padded" condoms. Length may not really be crucial, but according to her, width does and that is where the padding comes in naturally

Unique ways to initiate sex

If the 'once unique' moves and grinds you made in bed have now turned into 'predictable stuff' for your woman, you better know that you are nearing the point where sex is just a chore and brushing up your tactics is the need of the hour. Its important to understand that 'mystery' holds its own charm between the sheets, but once things are foreseeable, boredom is bound to seep it. So what do you do now?

Well, its time to reel back the excitement by reigniting her curiosity with some unique ways to initiate sex. Rather than asking her, why not lure her into a steamy session? Let non-verbal cues take charge of initiating sex in some more surprising ways and you never know what surprises you are offered in return:

Cook up to a steamy night
There's no better turn-on for a man than the sight of her man trying on his culinary skills only to impress her. So, use your kitchenette to the best of your use. Not only you'll be required to make her favourite dishes, but feeding her yourself will only make it better. All the while she's eating, brush up behind her, caress her and keep planting some kisses. By the time you guys are through with a sumptuous meal, you might just get rewarded with a quickie there on the kitchen counter!
Movie date?
Not at the theatre this time! Prepare for a movie slumber night in your living room instead. Get things in place. Rent a few romantic and sexy flicks, make her favourite snacks and get some wine. Since, creating the ambience for a sleepover is what we aim at, arranging for a cozy blanket and a few pillows won't be a bad idea. Dress up in your comfy night wear and snuggle up to watch the movie. As the movie runs, start playing with her. Begin with some non-sensual touches and let the magic of sexy scenes take over to make the temperatures soar high. And soon she'll be begging you for some real action.
Love games, anyone?
If you loved to play board games as kids, playing them now will be all the more exciting for you! We are talking about the adult versions here, where the dress code can be anything from a sassy lingerie to a cool underwear. How about a round of strip poker? While the options available are unlimited, fun and excitement depends upon how sportingly you take every rule of the game. Be it removing a piece of clothing every time you lose, or kissing the area that the winner demands ... you have to say yes to all!
Tattoo your love
Take it as your chance to put forth your creative skills. Temporary tattoo inks and body paints are easily available in the market. So, become a tattoo artist for her and let her paint you in return. The best bet in this session would be a chance to make a favourite motif on your favourite body part of your partner. And if that demands some skin show and a few touches here and there on that n*ked canvass ... that would just be a mood builder for a steamy night ahead.
Nothing sexier than a shower
Yes, there's nothing more refreshing than a shower at the end of a tiring day. Add to it your beloved and you bet there can't be anything sexier than that. Begin with a smooth soapy session, followed by some rubbing around her curves... Once through, offer to massage her favourite body lotion to help her relax as you play with sensual movements to leave her begging to be taken to bed.

The basic idea it to excite her with subtle hints of the final reward, without asking her to give what you want. Don't focus on tha main act rather arouse her to a pitch where she is ready to melt in your arms.